Generative Relationships
Healing means tending to our relational ecosystems
We are all relational beings. We form relationships with ourselves, and everyone and everything around us. Relationships are critical and they’re literally everywhere! But (almost) never do we work explicitly on how we “do relationships”.
Instead we learn from what’s around us: great and not so great models of how we relate are handed to us early from figures in our family of origin, and from all our relational experiences to date.
We also handle our relationships using the rules mainstream society gives us about how we relate. That approach can be limiting and doesn't capture the full spectrum of folks’ relational capacities and desires. Those rules also have roots in systems of oppression that support some relational styles and punish those that follow other models of being in relationship.
Being in Generative Relationship means cultivating spaces that allow all parties to evolve, reduce mutual harm, and strive towards just, equitable, sustainable, nourishing ways of relating. It is rooted in Healing Justice principles.
Tending to our relationships is central to our healing.
Generative relationship coaching can look like:
Understanding where we learned our relational styles and approaches,
Exploring how we might shift relational patterns that no longer support us
Learning about what other ways of relating are possible
Practicing new ways of being in relationship with the self, others, and the environment. Iteratively refining what new patterns work for us
Emotional support as we move through relational transitions
I work with individuals, couples and groups with this relational focus in mind. For individual clients that can look like a targeted package of sessions, or this approach can show up as a theme across a broader period of work. I love to work with couples from all relational formations, including different forms of non-monogamy and queer relationships, and I am both literate and affirming across the full spectrum of relational styles.
I also work as a consultant and facilitator on generative relationships with groups including not-for-profits, educational institutions and community groups. I provide workshops and retreats, and provide support with individual coaching sessions as needed.